He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
