He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
