break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
