Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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