I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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