We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Never underestimate the power of titties
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