Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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