I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
