Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
