? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
