I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
