I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
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