if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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