She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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