i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
