the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
