moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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