You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
