just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
