So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
