I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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