I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
