guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
