Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
