I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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