After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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