her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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