Where did you get a picture of my penis
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
