Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
