when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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