Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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