She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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