I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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