im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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