in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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