Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
