i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
