Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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