He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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