it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
