Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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