My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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