Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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