I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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