remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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