I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
