dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
