FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
