just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
