Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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