He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
