Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Will exercising make me less horny?
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