Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
