And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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